I have recently been reading Ephesians chapter 1 as part of a group Bible study, and I was struck by Paul’s references to adoption. In verse 5, he says: “God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Then in verse 11, he goes on to say: “Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.” As I read those verses, I can’t help feeling incredibly loved. And I hope you do too.
I once heard about a couple who were convinced after years of trying that they couldn’t have children. So they set out on the path to adoption and adopted a beautiful little girl. However, just as the adoption was being finalised, the wife found out she was carrying her own biological child. This came as a real shock, and they were faced with a quandary. Should they cancel the adoption now they were having their own baby? They chose to keep both children, but since the babies were close in age, they ended up seeking the help of another couple to care for the adopted child. This meant there was always a distinction between the two children, and one always felt more loved than the other.
In contrast, I knew of another family in the same position who never made a distinction between their adopted and biological children. In fact, for many years everyone presumed all the children were theirs. In their eyes, they were. And that is how it is for us with God.
Jesus is God’s first-born son. This is a hard concept to understand because like God the Father and God The Holy Spirit, Jesus has always existed. We struggle to understand how he can be God, yet also be God’s Son, and the truth is that it is something we have to accept by faith because it is beyond explanation. We read of Jesus in the King James Bible as “The only begotten Son”, (John 3: 16), meaning he is the natural heir. Like God the Father, Jesus is perfect, but we are not. Yet, the amazing thing is that our perfect heavenly Father still wants us to be part of his family, warts and all.
Romans 8: 29 says: “For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” I am humbled by the fact that God chose me to be his child before my mother even knew she was carrying me. Again, it’s not something I can explain, but just another of those things I accept and am grateful for by faith. How could God choose sinful me to become like his perfect son?
Sometimes adopted children can act out because they feel insecure. They think they are second-best, and they don’t truly appreciate the value of being chosen. Going back to Ephesians 1: 5, it said God decided in in advance to adopt us into his own family. Sometimes babies are born without being wanted and they are placed in the fostering system with the ultimate goal being to find them an adoptive family. Occasionally, this process can take years, and by the time the right home has been found, the child has sadly developed bad behavioural patterns as a result of insecurity which can be hard to break. However, in rare cases, the adoption is planned out early enough in the pregnancy that the baby is handed straight to the adoptive mother at birth. I know of a family where that happened, and the boy – now a young man – has never felt anything but loved and secure. This is how God wants us to feel, because there has never been a day when he hasn’t wanted us.
Maybe your parents have laughed and joked about how your conception was an accident, but no child born into this world is an accident or a mistake in God’s eyes. We are all here for a purpose, but we will only find that purpose in a fulfilling relationship with him through his Son Jesus Christ. It gives him great pleasure to bring us as a fully loved adopted child into his family.
So ours is a blended family, with Jesus as the biological child and us as the adopted siblings. How then should we handle our elder brother? I have an elder brother, and I idolised him as a child because he was so much bigger, stronger, and wiser than I was. He knew about everything – birds, television programs, and how to keep me safe when he took me for walks. I felt so proud to be holding his hand and going off on an adventure because I knew he would keep me safe.
Sibling relationships can be complicated. Just take the parable of the prodigal son. The younger brother took his inheritance early and ran away and made a mess of things, while the elder brother stayed and did what was right – working alongside his father. Then when his little brother came back and the father made a huge fuss despite his misdeeds, the older boy got angry because surely he was the one worthy of reward. In his eyes, it must have felt like his errant sibling’s bad behaviour was being glorified while his years of faithful service had gone unnoticed. I’ve seen this happen in families, and it’s hard for parents to get the balance right when dealing with children who have different personalities and different approaches to life.
Yet our divine elder brother who himself had never sinned or had wrong thoughts died on the cross for us. He took the punishment for a bunch of worthless sinners who in natural terms aren’t even worthy to speak his name, let alone call him Saviour, brother, friend, … He happily shares his inheritance with us at the cost of every last drop of his shed blood. That’s a level of love greater than any of us can understand.
The son who ran away in the parable squandered his inheritance, and I’ve often wondered what the elder brother did. Everything the father had was going to be his one day, so would he share it with his brother or kick him off the family farm as soon as Dad was dead? Ephesians chapter 1 verse 11 told us we have received an inheritance from God, because he chose us in advance and makes everything work out according to his plan. Our inheritance became possible because Jesus sacrificed himself for us. Far from sibling rivalry, Jesus’ desire was to make his family as big as possible. He wants the entire world to become children of his Father, and his heart breaks every time someone chooses to turn their back on his love.
This is grace. It is God’s riches at Christ’s expense. It is the true meaning of being adopted, chosen and cherished in an eternal family. So what should our response be? All God asks of us is love and faith, but if our love and faith is genuine, then we will naturally desire to do those things that please him. I loved my earthly dad deeply and I wanted to honour him. I didn’t grit my teeth and do it as a chore. When you truly love, you want to obey because you know the rules and regulations given are for your good. I trusted that if my dad said no, there was a good reason.
I might be adopted into God’s family, but I am no less his child because of it. I am a co-heir with Christ. And if you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, then so are you. You were chosen, adopted and redeemed. If you haven’t accepted Him yet, then please respond to his love and join this incredible global family. I can assure you, god doesn’t play favourites.