Have you ever started a Bible in a year with great enthusiasm in January, determined to drink in every detail of the scriptures, only to find in June or July that you are skimming over the words on the page without taking much in? Do you wonder why there are days when the Bible seems so full of meat, but there are other times when it seems like a dry and tasteless crust?
I am writing this devotional at the end of a day during which I struggled to feel the presence of the Lord. I have been angry, frustrated, and I felt sorry for myself. I am not excusing any of these things. I laid them out before the Lord and repented, but I am certain that Jesus is still with me, just as he was yesterday when I was singing his praises and feasting on his Word.
As human beings, we are emotional creatures, and our emotions fluctuate for various reasons. This affects our spiritual journey just as much as any area of our lives, but as ever, Satan is all too eager to take advantage. So on a bad day, he will try to persuade us we aren’t truly living the Christian life, that our faith is weak, that God’s word is powerless. Maybe he’ll even make us question whether we are Christians at all. We cannot afford to let ourselves listen to him.
The Christian walk is a relationship, not a religion. How many times have we heard this? But think about your closest human relationships. There are good days, and there are bad ones. Sometimes you feel incredibly close to those you love, and on other occasions, you aren’t so close. Yet they are still your loved ones. Marriages rarely dissolve after a few bad days. Parents still love their children, even when they are stroppy and rebellious.
When we first get to know Jesus, it is all very exciting and new. We approach his Word with a sense of awe and wonder, wanting to glean every ounce of truth. Yet sadly, in time, even the Word of God can become overly familiar if we allow it to. However, the good news is that God will rekindle our faith, our hope, our joy, and our enjoyment of his Word if we ask him to. This may not happen overnight, but after a lifetime of walking with Jesus, I can tell you it will happen.
The main thing is that we mustn’t give up on our faith or our walk with Jesus just because we’re having a few off days. Remember, he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He doesn’t change. Rather, it’s our emotions that go up and down. Jesus is the same, but I haven’t experienced him so closely because I’ve had a bad day. Yet, time has taught me he is just waiting for me to reach out so he can replenish me. He may do that with the words of a song, a verse of Scripture, or the kind words of a friend, but he will encourage me and rekindle the fire that has been dampened by life and all its silly disappointments.
Many years ago, Jonathan and I went to stay at a Christian hotel, where they had a beautiful open fire. It was so cosy to sit beside it, bask in the warmth on our hands and faces, and listen to the crackling flames. However, in order for that fire to blaze, someone had to keep feeding it with fuel. It’s the same for us. The very times when we don’t have the desire to re-fuel are those during which we need to most urgently. So I will read my Bible even when I don’t feel like it. I will keep talking to Jesus because I know he is listening.
A few verses from Hebrews chapter 10 really jumped out at me today despite my negativity. The second part of this chapter is headed “A Call to persevere in faith.” I like the imagery of persevering, because it means pressing on no matter how we feel. It’s a word that implies things won’t always be easy, but they will be worthwhile.
In verse 22, we are encouraged to “Draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings.” At the beginning of the next chapter, we are told that faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see. So on my bad days, I will seek to draw near to my saviour with a sincere heart, being honest with him about my struggles, and believing that he is still beside me even if I can’t feel him.
I will hold unswervingly to the hope I possess because he who promised is faithful. (Hebrews 10: 23). I like the idea of holding unswervingly. It makes me think of trying to stand up on a moving bus or train. My balance isn’t very good at the best of times, so I stagger like a drunkard, but if I’ve got something solid to hold on to, I can stand firm, no matter how I am tossed about. It is the same with Jesus. He has given me his promises, and he will be faithful to keep them, so all I have to do is hold on and let him keep me balanced, even when life is trying to knock me down.
Verses 24 and 25 give us a warning about not isolating ourselves during these trying times. Let’s be honest. When we are struggling, it’s so easy to hide away. Yet these are the times when we need our brothers and sisters in Christ more than ever. Remember that iron sharpens iron. There are people who would love to come alongside us in prayer, so let’s not push them away, even if it means exposing some of the uglier aspects of our characters. They have them too. The enemy wants us to think we are the only people who struggle in this way, but we’re not. “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10: 24-25).
Finally, in verse 32, there is an exhortation to “Remember those early days after you had received the light.” It was this verse that inspired me to write this devotional. When we are floundering, it’s good to think back. Old Testament saints carved notches in their staffs to remind them of specific times when God did amazing or miraculous things. Whenever they looked at those notches, they served as reminders. We all need those reminders. We can start out with great enthusiasm, and then everything can turn dry, but when those seasons come, go back, and look at the staff. Think back over your walk with God. Recount his faithfulness and his love, and rest, knowing better days will come.
In the King James Bible, you often read about how events “Came to pass.” Likewise, difficult times come, and then they go. The sun shines again, and we experience a renewed joy in our salvation. So cling on, keep feeding yourself with God’s word even if you aren’t taking any of it in, and keep asking for restoration and renewal. Jesus cannot be anything but faithful, whether it’s a good day or a bad.