Forgiveness.

Since I began reading Amish fiction, I’ve thought a lot about the subject of forgiveness. In their culture, a person does not have the choice to forgive; it is expected. Although I don’t agree with everything the Amish believe, I think this is one area in which they excel.

Forgiveness is a tough subject, and can bring a lot of hurt to the surface. WE can ask theoretical questions, such as: “Could you forgive if someone murdered your husband, wife, or child?” We might be quick to give the expected Christian answer that of course we would forgive, but if the unthinkable happened, and we were backed into a corner, could we?

There has been some research that shows unforgiveness can affect a person’s health, both physical and mental, and I can well believe it. Hatred and bitterness churning away inside is bound to affect the stomach and digestive system if nothing else. It would probably also cause lack of sleep, and likely bad dreams when sleep finally comes.

We can look at these things logically, and we can search the scriptures and see wonderful examples such as Steven forgiving his persecutors at the very point they were stoning him to death, and of course Jesus, forgiving those who had hung him on a cross. We can quote the Lord’s prayer, where we ask him to forgive us our sins, just as we forgive those who sin against us. Let’s be honest; we can sometimes cringe when we get to that part, particularly if the Lord brings to mind someone we haven’t yet forgiven.

Forgiveness isn’t always a one-off reaction. There have been times in my life when I’ve forgiven someone, only to have thoughts creep back in a day, a week, or even a year later, meaning I have to ask the Lord to help me forgive all over again. Jesus knows it’s a process, and a tough one at that, but he will be with us during the process. I believe he will help us, and empower us to forgive, even when it feels impossible.

Why should we forgive others? The answer is simple; because Christ has forgiven us. Just as others have sinned against us, we have also sinned against the Lord. There isn’t a single person in this world who has never sinned, and there won’t be, until Jesus comes back to rule and reign.

Some people see forgiveness as letting the person off the hook, but I see it as letting myself off the hook. Carrying around the weight of unforgiveness is exhausting and debilitating. And the honest truth is that my not forgiving probably won’t have any effect on the other person, but it will have a massive impact on me. They may have forgotten and moved on, while I’m still carrying a weight on my shoulders.

I cannot even begin to imagine the hurt and pain inflicted by those who murder, rape, or abuse. I praise God that I have never had to endure any of those things. Maybe I’m not as equipped to write about forgiveness as some for that reason, but I have read wonderful accounts written by those who have endured, and realised they could only make a full recovery after forgiving their tormentor.

Another issue is that it’s often easier to forgive those who hurt us than it is to forgive those who injure someone we love. I can definitely relate to that scenario. However, again, we have no other alternative but to look to the cross, and to Jesus as our example, as he hung there, carrying the sin of the whole world, yet knowing he had never done a single thing wrong. We can complain of things being unfair or unjust, but this was the greatest picture of injustice the world has ever seen.

If we are struggling with forgiveness today, then I believe the best thing we can do is to be honest with the Lord. It’s okay to tell him you know he wants you to forgive that person, but you’re struggling, and you can’t do it in your own strength. Fall upon his mercy, calling on him to give you the strength and grace to forgive, and ask him to help you see that person as he sees them. This is a prayer he loves to answer.