During my growing up years, I’m ashamed to admit that I went through a phase of wishing I could swap mothers with my best friend. It’s laughable now, but I was convinced my mother loved my friend more and would prefer to have her as her daughter. My reasoning behind this was that whenever she came to our house, my mother was loving, kind and gentle, whereas I often got yelled at, and it sometimes felt as though nothing I did was good enough. Of course, I now understand that it wasn’t Mam’s place to train and nurture my friends. They had their own parents to discipline and guide them, but she wanted to do her best by me, and sometimes, that meant correcting, training, and rebuking. The correction came from a bigger heart than I appreciated during those years. Yet I now understand and appreciate the love behind every rebuke, harsh word, or corrective act, and I’m grateful for a parent who loved me enough to discipline me.
In our modern and progressive world, discipline isn’t always a popular word, any more than it was for me as a child. Yet I firmly believe that part of the growing up process is a changed attitude toward correction. After all, the Bible says: “A youngster’s heart is filled with foolishness, but physical discipline will drive it far away.” (Proverbs 22: 15.). Sadly, in some cases this verse is used as an excuse for shameful treatment of children, but ignoring it is equally wrong. Discipline does not have to be violent or harmful if handled wisely. My own parents never damaged me either physically or emotionally, but they believed wholeheartedly in discipline.
In 2Timothy chapter 3 verses 1-5 Paul talks about the kind of people who will be living on the earth during the last days. He says: “You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!” Could such behaviour be a direct result of a lack of discipline? Although there are obviously other causes, I believe this does have a major impact.
My grandmother often used to talk about how in her day, people were more caring toward one another – less selfish and self-absorbed. One of the reasons for this was that they were often taught from an early age to put the needs of others above their own. I remember my father repeating: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (a paraphrase of Matthew 7: 12) when I talked about injustice or unfair treatment at school. This too is a form of discipline, because it goes against the grain to be kind to those who hurt us. Again, it is a behaviour that must be taught, but is often lacking in today’s society.
We see the principle of discipline and of disciplined living all the way through the Bible, because we serve a God of order. A world without discipline would soon fall into chaos. WE might be fooled into thinking it would be wonderful if we could just all do what we wanted all of the time, but unhindered crime, utter selfishness and greed would soon follow.
When I studied history, I had to learn about the origins of crime and punishment in the UK and the forming of the police force. While I understand that giving people positions of authority can sometimes lead to an abuse of that position due to corruption and an overinflated ego, I would not want to live in a society without law and order. After all, it was God’s desire that his people should live by certain rules and standards right from the beginning. You only have to read the first few books of the Bible to discover that.
There are occasions in God’s word when we read about undisciplined characters. I believe Sampson is one such example. Perhaps many can relate to his parents, since they’d waited many years to have a child, eventually believing it was an impossible dream. So when God blessed them with a son, is it any wonder they spoiled him? WE know this is the case because of the way Sampson addressed them in the opening verses of Judges 14. One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye. When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.” His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?” But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.” (Judges 14: 1-3) I can’t help feeling these are the words of a young man who was used to getting his own way.
Admittedly, the Bible does tell us God was at work, creating an opportunity to work against the Philistines, (Judges 14: 4), but Sampson’s spoiled attitude shows up time and time again in his story and influences his final outcome. He was a man who wasn’t used to hearing the word “No”.
King David is a Bible character who has been admired for many things. He was a man after God’s own heart, wrote many of the Psalms and songs of worship of his day, and was a strong and mighty warrior king, yet he too failed in the area of disciplining his children. 1Kings 1: 6 speaks of the way he handled his son Adonijah, who tried to claim the throne and usurp his brother Solomon even before David was dead. “Now his father, King David, had never disciplined him at any time, even by asking, “Why are you doing that?” This doesn’t surprise us given the anarchy that occurred in David’s family prior to this event. His eldest son raped his sister and was killed by one of his half-brothers, who then went on to challenge David for the throne. I can’t help wondering if a little parental discipline would have made things turn out very differently.
When Jesus walked the earth, he taught his followers many lessons about how they should live. Those followers were known as disciples, a word which takes its root meaning from the word discipline. A disciple of Jesus must be disciplined to study his word and seek to live in accordance with the scriptures. After all: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.” (2Timothy 3: 16-17.) The Bible itself will discipline us toward a Godly life, if we take the time to read it.
So, as I look back on my childhood and early adult life now, I can definitely see that the discipline I received, firstly from my parents, and more importantly from the Lord, has had a huge impact on my character and beliefs. However, I still fail my Saviour every day, and so I must accept that his training through discipline doesn’t stop when a person reaches a certain age or level of maturity. I must be willing to accept it continually, and even welcome it, knowing that he is only working for my good. “Joyful are those you discipline, Lord, those you teach with your instructions. You give them relief from troubled times until a pit is dug to capture the wicked.” (Psalm 94: 12-13.)