Leah had never truly been loved. It pains me to write those words, because I grew up in a family where I felt safe, valued and appreciated. Yet this Bible character whose story seems to be often overlooked clearly enjoyed none of those privileges. She was the eldest of two sisters, and the daughter of Laban, the brother of Abraham’s wife Rebekah.
We first meet Leah and her much more beautiful younger sister Rachel in Genesis 29, when their cousin Jacob arrived at their family home seeking refuge after a huge falling out with his twin Esau. Having cheated Esau firstly out of his birth right as the firstborn and then their father’s special blessing, Jacob knew his life was in danger, so he ran. Meeting his cousin Rachel at a well where she was watering her father’s sheep, he found his way into the hearts and lives of Laban’s family.
It’s interesting to note that the first mention of Leah compares her to Rachel as follows. Now Laban had two daughters. The older daughter was named Leah, and the younger one was Rachel. There was no sparkle in Leah’s eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. (Genesis 29: 16-17). Quite what the phrase about Leah’s eyes actually meant has been the source of much speculation, but one thing is clear. Rachel was the glamorous member of the family, while Leah was the plane Jane.
In those days, it was the custom for the elder sister to marry before the younger, but it was Rachel whom Cousin Jacob fell in-love with. Such was his love that he agreed to work for seven years in order to marry her. I can just imagine how Leah felt when she saw and heard everything that was going on. I can picture her wistfully gazing out of the window watching her sister laughing and cuddling with Jacob, and wondering: “Why isn’t it ever me? What’s wrong with me?”
Laban must have known he would have trouble finding a husband for Leah, because he resorted to trickery. I wonder if he’d tried and failed to find a husband for her before. Whatever the case, his actions seem terribly cruel and show a lack of care for both his daughters. Verses 22-23 of Genesis 29 reads: “So Laban invited everyone in the neighbourhood and prepared a wedding feast. But that night, when it was dark, Laban took Leah to Jacob, and he slept with her.” I’ve often wondered why Jacob didn’t know he had the wrong wife. Yes, it was probably dark, and no doubt he had consumed a large quantity of alcohol during his wedding feast, but still! …
I try and put myself in the place of Leah – lying there in the arms of a man who didn’t love her, dreading his reaction when the light of dawn brought the realisation of Laban’s deception. Did Jacob storm out of their tent leaving her to cry alone? Did he give any thought for her feelings? The Bible seems to hint that he didn’t, because within just seven days, he married Rachel too, and the two sisters became rival wives – the one loved, and the other very much unloved. Once again, Leah was playing a secondary role to her ravishing younger sister.
However, the wonderful irony of this story is that although Jacob overlooked her, someone far more important never did. Verse 31 says: “When the Lord saw that Leah was unloved, he enabled her to have children, but Rachel could not conceive.” In those days, a woman’s value was assessed on her ability to give her husband sons, and Leah excelled in this if in nothing else. She bore first one son, then another, then a third, and a fourth, while Rachel remained childless.
When Leah’s first son Reuben was born, she said: “the Lord has noticed my misery, and now my husband will love me.” (Genesis 29: 32.) When she gave birth to Simeon, she declared: “the Lord heard that I was unloved and has given me another son.” When Levi arrived, her words were: “Surely this time my husband will feel affection for me, since I have given him three sons.” Notice how she is yearning for Jacob’s love and approval. It’s pitiful. Yet all the while Jacob only had eyes and a heart for stunning but childless Rachel.
I believe there are lots of people like Leah in the world today, and her problem isn’t unique to women. Many men too have never known love and affection, and so they go seeking after it in all the wrong places. The lengths to which some people will go just to feel loved are frightening. They subject themselves to cruel abuse wrongly believing that any kind of attention is better than no attention at all. They end up feeling unworthy of love, and their behaviour worsens as a result. If we don’t feel valued, we often fail to value ourselves. So we fall lower and lower until we hit rock bottom.
If only those who suffer as Leah did could learn what she discovered. Sadly, I’m not sure if Jacob ever appreciated her true value, but I believe Leah came to know and understand that God did. When her fourth son Judah was born, her words in naming him are quite different from the ones she used after the births of the first three. Verse 35 says: “Once again Leah became pregnant and gave birth to another son. She named him Judah, for she said, “Now I will praise the Lord!” Notice that this time there is no mention of Jacob or whether he will approve of the new arrival. She simply says she is going to praise the Lord. Incidentally, it was from this son – Judah – that Jesus the Messiah would eventually descend.
I like to think this was something of a turning point in Leah’s thinking. However, I have to admit that some of the decisions she made after Judah’s birth still weren’t ideal. She continued her tug of war with Rachel, following her sister’s example of giving her maidservant to Jacob as a secondary wife after she ceased baring children. So yes, Leah still made mistakes. She was still human like the rest of us. Yet during that brief moment as she stared down at her fourth son, all she could think about was the Lord and how much she wanted to praise him. As I read this, I wish I could be more like Leah during what I consider to be the high point of her life.
It’s so easy to look at life and think of all the things we don’t have, but if we know Jesus as our Lord and Saviour, we have more than we could possibly appreciate, because simply put, he is everything. We all have regrets – things we perhaps hoped for that haven’t worked out as we wished. Maybe we have been hurt by those we loved and trusted, but we are loved by the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords – the Lion of the tribe of Judah who was willing to give His life for us on the Cross, even though we can never do a single thing to make us worthy of His love.
To the person reading this who feels unlovable, I wish to point out Leah’s story and remind you that her value to God wasn’t based on the number of sons she had. He loved her just because He loved her, and it’s the same for you and me. No matter what is hidden in your past, where you’ve come from or where you are right now, you have a Father who is eager to welcome you home. If you are living in a loveless marriage as Leah was, your worth isn’t based on how your spouse sees you but on how God sees you. When we feel loved, we will begin acting as though we are worth loving. Like Leah, we will find reasons to give praise and thanks despite the darkness. We will lift our eyes that have lost their sparkle and stop dwelling on all the negatives. If we start looking for things for which to give praise, we will soon find there are more of them than we have the vocabulary to proclaim. So today, let’s declare with Leah: “Now I will praise the Lord.”