I’m sure you will thoroughly enjoy this second post in a 3-part series about self-control written by my dear friend Sarah Tummey.
Last week, we considered Trina Bresser Matous’ statement that self-control includes control emotionally, physically and in one’s thoughts. If I’m really honest, self-controlled emotions have been a struggle for me. Nowadays on social media, you see quotes such as: “We can’t control what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond”. This was never taught or shown to me growing up. It’s only as an adult that I’m hearing people say it, and not just Christians either. I could understand a Christian saying: “In my own strength I’d fail at this, but the Holy Spirit’s changing my outlook and helping me to be different”. The fruit of the Spirit is self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). As Christians, we want that fruit of God’s Spirit to grow in us because we want to please Him, but how do you choose to respond well without that motivation? I suppose any stressful situations can increase blood pressure and heart rate, so the calmer you can be, the better.
Emotions themselves aren’t a bad thing, but it’s how we use them – anger, for example. In the Bible, James says everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger doesn’t produce a righteous life (James 1:19-20), but what about when Jesus was angry? Angry at the hardness of the Pharisees, who didn’t want Him to heal someone because it was a Sabbath (Mark 3:1-5)? Jesus’ anger galvanised Him to do what was right – to show them Sabbath isn’t about sucking life out of people.
Tim Chester says in “Titus for You”: “If your joy means you cannot mourn with others or your mourning means you cannot rejoice with others, then your emotions are too self-obsessed. They are not under your control, but rather, they control you”. I think it’s safe to say Jesus was never controlled by any emotion. He felt emotions deeply, being so distressed as to sweat drops of blood at Gethsemane (Luke 22:44), but He never let those emotions dictate how He lived His life.
I’ve always tried to suppress anger. This is quite new to me – the thought that even strong emotions don’t have to be negative. As Tim Chester explains, “Often, human anger is distorted. We get angry about the wrong things, or we get angry in the wrong way. Our anger is not self-controlled. Self-controlled anger pursues justice and mercy”. The causes I care about will differ from yours, but I think we should all be free to express ourselves in a good and healthy way. Do you agree?
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