When I was growing up, I instinctively knew that I had to speak and interact differently with my parents than with my friends. My friends were my equals, but my parents were older, wiser, and as the authority figures in my life, they deserved respect. If I didn’t give it, they soon told me, and rightly so. They were quick to remind me they weren’t there to be my buddies, but to teach and guide me into a profitable future.
Yet now, as an adult, I can honestly say that my mother has become one of my best friends. I can’t tell you exactly when this change happened. It certainly wasn’t overnight, but as I grew up, got married and began running a home of my own, our relationship evolved. Yet, I still have the utmost respect for her, and I continue to see her as an authority figure in my life. Maybe more so than I did as a youngster, because I respect her authority a lot more, and find myself seeking out her advice.
A lot of people struggle with the idea of friendship with God, because they fear falling into the trap of irreverence. Yet, there are scriptures that encourage us to see God as our friend. The first man known as a friend of God was Abraham. James 2: 23 says: And the Scripture was fulfilled that says: “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God.”
Good and lasting friendships don’t happen overnight. They grow, as 2 people grow in trust and love for one another, and this was definitely the case with Abraham and God. God first revealed himself to Abraham in Genesis 12, when he told him to leave his home and his father’s household, and up sticks with his wife to a new country, promising him in the process that one day, the land to which he was being sent would belong to him and his descendants. That was some promise, but it took an incredible act of faith for Abraham to walk away from all that was familiar and safe and head out into the unknown.
As Abraham went, each time he took a new step of faith, god met with him in a closer way. He made some mistakes along his journey of friendship with the Almighty, like the time he allowed his wife to try and rush God’s plan by giving him her servant as a secondary wife to provide their long-awaited heir. Yet there were also great triumphs that showed how Abraham’s trust and friendship with God had grown, like his willingness to sacrifice his son Isaac, even though he’d waited so many years to father this child of promise.
Jesus walked this earth as God in human form, yet even he referred to his disciples toward the end of his life as his friends. Just before he was betrayed and crucified, he says in John 15: 15: “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” Somewhere along their journey with Christ, the disciples grew from being students to becoming his friends.
I am both humbled and honoured to think of myself as a friend of God. Rather than causing me to treat him with less respect, I’d say thinking of him in this way makes me respect him more. After all, as an adult, my human friendships are very different from those I had as a child. My closest and most treasured friends are those I love and respect the most. I honour and value their friendships and become frustrated when others degrade them or treat them unfairly.
So how can we become a friend of God? I believe Jesus answers that question in John 15: 14. “You are my friends if you do what I command you.” I don’t believe Jesus is talking about perfection here, because we all know we will never be perfect this side of eternity. Besides, he regularly talks about being more concerned with the condition of our hearts than our outward behaviour. I don’t always do the things that please Jesus. I let him down daily, and often feel ashamed of myself, especially when it comes to my thought life. However, in my heart, I have a desire to please him, and that desire has helped me change over time. I am certainly not the woman I want to be, but neither am I the woman I was.
Good friends influence us for the better, and this is never more true than when it comes to our friendship with Almighty God, through his son Jesus Christ. Remember, he isn’t our friend because he has to be. He chose, and continually chooses, to call us his friends. His ultimate act of friendship was to lay down his life for us. (John 15: 13.) He wants us to be as close to him as we’ll let ourselves be. What an amazing privilege! So, never be afraid to call Jesus your friend, because that’s what he called himself.