When I was about seven years old, I attended a kids’ Bible teaching course during which we were taught the names of the first five books of the Bible. I was very proud to learn them, even though the words sounded funny to me. However, I guess it must have given me a thirst to know more about God’s word, because some time later when my mother and I were sitting out in the garden, I asked if she would read to me. She wondered what I wanted her to read, and I rather proudly announced that I wanted her to read the book called Numbers. Looking back, I think Numbers fascinated me the most because the word was familiar. I already knew something about numbers from doing maths at school. My mother did honour my request, but we soon realised that the first few chapters of Numbers aren’t ideal reading material for a young child, and I think we moved onto something more suitable. Whenever I read through the Bible and I get to Numbers, I always smile as I think back to that day, and I wonder if my mother remembers it too.
The first couple of chapters of this fourth book of the Bible definitely live up to the name Numbers, because they are literally full of numbers. First we have a list of how many fighting men aged twenty plus were found in each of the twelve tribes. Then in chapter 2, we learn about how the camp was organised as they moved from place to place. Again, there are more numbers. Just take a look if you don’t believe me. By the time you’ve read these two chapters, I can pretty much guarantee you will feel like you’ve just had a maths lesson.
Yet even in these seemingly tedious chapters, I believe there is always a takeaway if we search for it, and for me, it came in discovering how both chapters end. Numbers chapter 1 verse 54 says: “So the Israelites did everything just as the Lord had commanded Moses.” Then, chapter 2 verse 34 says: “So the people of Israel did everything as the Lord had commanded Moses. Each clan and family set up camp and marched under their banners exactly as the Lord had instructed them.” We could summarise these two verses by simply saying that God gave them instructions, and the people did as they were told.
Sounds good so far, doesn’t it? Except that if we’ve read the rest of the book, we know it wasn’t always this way. Numbers contains accounts of grumbling, rebellion, and even an uprising against Moses himself. So what changed?
I have been mulling this over and considering how it is much easier to be obedient in physical matters than in matters of the heart or mind. For example, I can read my bible every day merely out of a sense of duty. Yet it could be that while I am reading, my mind is focusing on anything but the Biblical content. I am sure that if we were honest, this has happened to all of us during our devotional times. On these days, although I can proudly tick Bible reading off my daily Christian to do list, I can’t honestly tell you what I’ve discovered or how God has spoken to me through it. Am I a bit like the man described in the first chapter of James, who looks at himself in the mirror and then forgets what he looks like? (James 1: 23-25.) In these verses, James is talking about those who are merely hearers of God’s word, but don’t put what they have learned into practice.
It’s very easy to do good Christian things, just as it was easy for the Israelites to take practical steps such as numbering the troops or setting up the camp in the right way. Yet even while we’re doing these things and people are congratulating us for our obedience, there can be conflict on the inside that no one knows about. No one, that is, except for our Saviour, because nothing can be hidden from him. Were there men involved in the setting up and taking down of the camp who were smiling on the outside, but were inwardly grumbling about why it had to be done in such a specific way? Were some of them thinking: “It’d be a lot easier if they did it my way. My way would be so much better than God’s. is it really so important what order we travel in just as long as everything gets there safely and in one piece?” Were there those who were grumbling in their hearts? I would say there probably were, judging from some of the things that happened later.
It is definitely easier to obey God in the practical areas than the spiritual. Going back to my example about reading the Bible, it’s a simple matter to carve out ten minutes of my day to read a set number of chapters so I can say I’ve read the Bible in the year. And doesn’t that make me sound super spiritual? But what effect is that reading having on me if, after I’ve read, I start thinking or acting in a way I know God wouldn’t like? What if I read a section on love in the morning, but quarrel with my husband in the afternoon? What if I read a proverb about how envy rots the bones, yet harbour jealousy over a friend’s blessings? We’re back to that idea of looking in the mirror, then walking away and forgetting what I look like, aren’t we?
I have attended church all my life. Outwardly, I have probably always been seen as a good Christian girl, but I know some of the things that have gone on inside, and believe me, they haven’t all been Godly. We easily criticise the Israelites for promising to obey one minute then grumbling the next, or for performing all the outward displays of obedience while their hearts were far from God, but when we look closely in the mirror, we see our own reflection matching theirs.
These days, I find myself asking God increasingly to help me make sure my inside matches up with my outside. As I perform daily acts of obedience that include reading his word and praying, I ask my heavenly Father to use these disciplines to transform me from the inside out. When I am involved in leading worship, teaching the youth at our church, or even writing these devotionals, I pray that the messages or words I share will impact me as much as those to whom I am writing or speaking. I may have read god’s word from cover to cover, but I am still learning and still growing. There are still massive areas in me God needs to change.
The Old Testament prophets often criticised the nation of Israel for their hypocrisy. Jesus did it too in the gospels. In Matthew 23, there is a whole section where he gives vent to his frustration toward the Pharisees. For example, verses 23-28 say: “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. You should tithe, yes, but do not neglect the more important things. Blind guides! You strain your water, so you won’t accidentally swallow a gnat, but you swallow a camel. What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence! You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too. What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.” I can’t read verses like that without pausing to examine myself and asking God to show me any areas where I am like those Pharisees.
So let’s not be afraid to examine ourselves in that mirror, not to heed the enemy’s voice of shame and condemnation, but to allow our loving Father to help us stay on the straight and narrow path, where what is on the inside matches what others see on the outside. And if we are struggling, let’s not be afraid to ask God for help, and to ask others for prayer. Our struggles are never unique, and I can pretty much guarantee someone will be able to say: “I’ve been there, but God helped me overcome my struggle, and I’m going to pray that he will do the same for you.”
So the next time you read the first few chapters of numbers and are overwhelmed by the lists, look for the nuggets of truth god hides in amongst the verses. I’m sure he will have something to say to you too.